The Down Slayment
Have you ever encountered a salesman or saleswoman, Kiddies? They come with a lot of HACKAGE DEALS heh-heh-heh. Saleswomen come selling the supply of SLAYVON PRODUCTS to make you GHOULS BOOTIFUL hee-hee. Well, this one salesman in our TALE OF TERROR, is sure in for a surprise that he can't SLAY BACK, called... It was back in Autumn of 1955, that a salesman arrived on a farm out, in the country of northern-Kentucky one afternoon. He got out of his car and rang the doorbell of the farmhouse. An older lady answered the door. "Good afternoon sir, may I help you?" she asked the salesman. "Good afternoon ma'am, I wanted to know if y'all would be interested in a superb china set, compromised of a variety of fancy plates, cups and glasses?" he explained, asking. "Oh, that sounds just lovely sir!" the old lady replied, with a grin. "Yes ma'am, it also comes with a beautiful teapot included free with the set. Only $30.00. Is your husband around by chance?" the salesman continued, and asked her, smiling. "Oh no, I am sorry sir. He died three years ago, so it is only me and the farm animals here now" she answered. "Oh, my apologies ma'am" the salesman said. "Thank y'all, I shall get y'all the thirty dollars, pardon me please" the old woman replied and shut the door. She returned moments later with the money, giving it to the salesman. "Thank y'all ma'am. The china set I shall deliver next week to y'all. Have a nice day" he said to her, shaking her hand. "Thank y'all young man, have a nice day" she replied and he left. As the salesman drove off in his green Chevy, he laughed, "thank y'all for the money ma'am. Y'all are quite a sucker!!". He turned on the radio in his car and listened to Hank Williams sing: Kaw-Liga. The salesman drove passed a little graveyard and in front of one tombstone, the ground moved a tad. The fake salesman drove a few miles up the country-road and he his car ran out of gas. "Oh shoot!" he said, turning off the car-radio and his car. He got out and saw another farm in the distance. So he started walking that way. Somebody was wandering slowly passed an old abandoned barn that the scamming salesman drove by earlier on his way from the farm. The person was dressed in a torn-suit of brown and had long, black hair that was straight. The scamming salesman kept on moving along the country-road and stopped a half mile from his Chevy. He sneezed and blew his nose with a hankerchief from the pocket of his blazer. He glanced back and saw the person reach into his car. The fake salesman ran back to it, screaming, "HEY!!!!" at the figure. When he reached his car, the scammer saw the person was a dead corpse standing there on the side of the road. The zombie was also a skeleton and peered at the guy with a decayed-grin. The scammer screamed in utter horror, very, extremely loudly. "Give my wife back her money sir!!!!" the zombie croned in a rotted old deep-voice. The skeleton sunk his rotting-teeth into the false salesman's jugular-vein, biting into it, as worms and clumps of dirt fell onto the guy, who was struggling and screaming in pain. The corpse gurgled hoarsely, until the scammer finally fell dead on the road. The zombie swallowed what he had in his rotting, boney-mouth. His boney-hand reached down and pulled out the thirty dollars from the dead scammer's pocket. That night, the old lady heard her doorbell ring and answered it, finding the money on the doorstep of her farmhouse. She picked it up and closed the door. In the moonlight, the zombie of her husband made his way back to the little cemetery closeby. With his skeletal-face rotting away in the moonlight, he laughed hoarsely. Heh-Heh-Heh-Heh, that scamming salesman made quite a GRAVE MISTAKE when he double-crossed that zombie's old wife eh! He sure found out that scamming people can really BITE and be a PAIN IN THE NECK, when doing it IN VEIN ha-ha. At least in the end, he was given a BONE-US by that skeleton hee-hee.